A Lonely Heart Is a Ruthless Heart

and the love of money is the root of all 
Targets Walmarts Stop and Shops during 

the pandemic I was afraid to touch magazine 
racks or the Entertainment Weekly each

week in the mail ordered Jolly Ranchers Dude 
Powder Clorox wipes never arrived  

wiped off debit card with homemade 
hand sanitizer alcohol and aloe so hands don’t 

crack when the gay guy stole my sister’s 
commission dad said don’t trust men 

whose mouths smell like jockstrap still 
he watches Anderson Cooper who I DM’d 

when mom died my father is a homo-
phobe yet still tries to love me AC wrote

back grief is a deep pond you swim in dad 
hurts my feelings but I still think he’s funny 

ξ

Mom in Casket I Picked Out

wearing shirt she bought when we shopped at mall 
not time she fainted but time before under-

taker cut shirt up back glued eyes shut ripped neck-
lace from neck dad wanted back goodbye mom 

I said did the best I could preacher wouldn’t 
take hand off my back tried not to piss off dad 

at lunch his old friends wanted photos a mile 
away my mother’s being buried in dirt

said to James Wayne Tommy Joel and these mother-
fuckers want pictures smiled while dirty-beard 

loser cousin made rabbit ears behind someone’s 
head camera flash one more another flash 

the lipstick they put on you mom was pink you’d 
never wear everyone almost everyone liked it

ξ

Aaron Smith is the author of four books of poetry: The Book of Daniel, Primer, Appetite, and Blue on Blue Ground. He is associate professor of creative writing at Lesley University in Cambridge, MA.